I normally try to add some pictures to all of my blog posts so typed into google “ways to win my heart” and got a long list of quite frankly demands all with lovely backgrounds or fonts to make them seem like “romantic thoughts” as opposed to a checklist. So the above is not ideal or for that matter not the main thing I would think but hey…..better than nothing!
I will be honest, my partner is not really what i’d call romantic, he doesn’t make big gestures or things like that but I’ve learnt over the years that someone being dependable, there for you and on your side is worth far more than someone who shouts about how much they love you to anyone who will listen.
So, here’s my list of 5 ways to win my heart…..they may not be that romantic, or for that matter special to anyone else, but they are to me.
- be kind……I like to think that I am kind (i’m a lot of negative things but this is one of my positives) and I need someone who is the same. It’s a hard and often unpleasant life and I don’t want to be struggling alone, I want someone to share the lifecraft with.
- have a sense of humour…..I love that I can make Stuart laugh, from little snorts and sniggers to full on belly laughs, making him smile makes me smile and vice versa. We have a fairly similar sense of humour and I appreciate that, as even when we’re both down in the dumps, we can be stupid and make each other laugh, it doesn’t bring you completely out of the funk, but helps with seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
- small gestures…..are to me a vital part of what makes my soul happy, when he comes home with flowers, or cuddles me when i’m cooking, or buying the instant coffee I like as only he works in the only place it’s sold or sends me a message saying he hopes my day is going ok he really does make my heart melt. We’ve been through some really tough times but it’s things like this that let me know how he feels. He’s not an “i love you” kinda guy – in fact i think the last time he told me he loved me was the day i jumped out of a plane and he wasn’t sure i’d be coming back – but i’d rather have these tiny little things than someone saying things but not actually following through with them.
- be honest and open…..I honestly do think that having had quite a bit of therapy i’m now much more open and honest than I used to be and I find that i’m now less scared to say what I feel is right, it might not be everyone’s cup of tea but I feel very comfortable if people are truthful, I have such low self esteem then honesty is the best policy, good or bad at least then i’m not second guessing, or letting my imagination run away with me. This is one of the biggest bugbears in my relationship if im honest, I know he bottles things up (don’t most men) and there have been times we’ve rowed and I know it’s other things that are winding him up and I always say it’d be easier to just be honest, say the things you want to say and deal with it and move on, as opposed to stewing and then the tiniest thing will be the what causes a massive explosion!
- be able to hold a conversation…..I have seen so many couples seemingly staring into space, or their phones and this leaves me cold. If you have nothing to talk about then life must be very dull. We find ourselves talking even if its stupid things, something we saw on the news, random memories and the like, i’m not saying we don’t have silence, we do, everyone does but I think there’s a difference between a companionable silence and not having anything to say. I want someone who wants to know me, my views and ideas; even if we don’t agree (and there’s a few things we dont agree on and have ultimately decided to agree to disagree, otherwise a lot of rowing will ensue!
Like I said at the very beginning, this may not be a list for anyone apart from me, but feel free to let me know your deal makers/breakers. I have 1 friend who will only date men who are rich, she wants to be a housewife (golddigger) and wont consider anyone who cannot keep her in the manner to which she wishes to become accustomed, then there’s a man who I know who wants as many kids as possible, so is looking for someone who wants a huge family…I suppose it’s the differences that make us all special and i’m always happy to hear what has worked for other people and what wisdom they would pass on to the rest of the world.