Blessings in my life?
I am lucky to have so many good people, some really simply unbeatable friends, a good job, someone who loves me, a family who cares…..well, i’m grateful for everything really.
I’m not a religious person, I am not saying that if you are you are wrong (in fact, a little bit of the time, i’m quite jealous as my friends with faith seem to be able to handle things with grace and dignity knowing that their God has sent this to them/is standing beside them – I just have to hope that the decisions I make don’t make too many bad things happen).
Over the years I have learned that the way my mind works, I have to remember the little positives, I realised that 10 great things could happen, then 1 bad thing would happen and wipe away all the positives…..that seems like a waste to me so when I came into where I worked at the time to find a large empty jar on my desk with the label “good things that have happened in 2014” I instantly fell in love with the idea, a way to remember the positives and to show that good things do happen and even if bad things occur, that shouldn’t negate the positive. I still to this day have no idea who gave me that Jar, but I still use it and every year am blown away by the things that happen – I would actually recommend it to anyone, if you can get a jar/container big enough then give it a whirl, if you have a smile on your face then write whatever prompted it down, pop it in the jar and then at the end of the year, get them out and see what has made you happy throughout the year, it doesn’t have to be massive, just something that you appreciated (some examples from my first jar……..Flowers I bought for 10p lasting 3 weeks, seeing someone in town with a sign saying “you are beautiful” not at any specific person but to everyone, seeing the sunset over the beach when I was having a beach party with friends) and which otherwise you might have forgotten.
Other things I am blessed with? Well, obviously I have the best friends known to mankind. I have friends from my past, friends from fandoms and new people who come into my life and make me see things differently or their soul speaks to me. I’m really lucky that despite my own feelings towards myself, other people seem to like me and I am constantly grateful for that. My closest friends don’t live anywhere near me but I know I could contact them day or night and they would be there. After i’d had my accident, I went through a few months of mild PTSD (and yes, I know that sounds ridiculous but that’s what the doctor called it) where I would wake up from nightmares where it’d happened again, and I was too afraid to get out of bed, as I KNEW it’d happened again and despite logically knowing that I hadn’t actually been hurt again, I was too scared to deal with it, luckily, my closest friend here lived relatively close and had a key to my flat so I could call her and ask her to come over and help me out of bed……now that is dedication!
My lovely family are a blessing, they don’t all get along, which is a shame but I try to maintain a relationship with them all – not saying that’s always easy as I do wish I could bang their heads together at times, life is too short to fall out with people. I have such a better relationship with my mum than I used to. I think she has softened a lot over the years and that coupled with me learning how to keep my mouth shut has definitely helped our relationship. They have taught me so much and are always there for me, which as i’m learning, is a great thing in this day and age.
I am lucky to have my mind……now, if you’d have asked me this a few years ago, I would have told you I hated it. The way I felt about myself was awful and it wasn’t until I learnt to be more compassionate towards myself that I started to appreciate how lucky I am to see the world the way I do. I am hard work and I am incredibly self critical and self conscious but I know that eventually, I will like myself and if people don’t want to put in the effort, that’s their choice, not mine.
With the thoughts about people who do make the effort with me, my boyfriend Stuart is by far the best thing in my life, he cares about me and makes me happy. It was odd to meet him when I had come out of such an awful relationship and I thought that awful was normal, which it obviously isn’t. I told him straight away I was hard work and sometimes he wouldn’t want to be part of that and I was right. It hasn’t always been easy but since we started living together, I can see things getting better. We talk more, and more openly and I think that has helped us to learn more. I can’t wait till we move and then can really start our lives in our home…..there’s nothing stopping us from staying at his flat but i’d rather start in somewhere which is ours. Fickle but true.
I have an obsession with reading, so the fact that I can read and enjoy it I suppose would be counted as a blessing……I would hate to be curtailed in reading as it’s the safest place I can be, if i’m happy i can read, or if i’m sad I can read. Theres always things that will bring me out of a funk and its that. Stuart is dyslexic and although he enjoys reading, he hasnt got the same drive I have to read. I understand that but would hate to be in that boat, but then saying that, he is so much better at creative things (art and the like) than I am so I wonder if thats compensation?
Ok, i’m really not sure what else to list as a blessing now, I mean, I am blessed but I have things that a lot of people don’t have (roof over my head, warm clothes, enough food, access to health care etc) which I consider to be a right for everyone (despite it not being possible for everyone). I try to offer my time and support to charity and helping others and hopefully this will in some way send out good vibes into the zeitgeist. I suppose that for me a blessing is to help others, to lift people. We all need support and care and occasionally someone to just be there and maybe thats the point of it all……if we are more open to other people, maybe we can bring the whole level up.
Do you have anything in your life you consider a blessing? I’d love to hear your thoughts and of course, any feedback is always welcomed!
Have a superb day all xx