Ok, this is a tricky one as i’m aiming to not have children. This may be the shortest blog ever but maybe i’ll spin it a bit and make it “what 3 lessons would I like people to learn from me”.
Again, thinking about it, this may not be that long as i’m not sure people should actually learn from me. I think the point in life is to listen to other people’s stories then you can only make your own decisions. I learnt a fair few years back that a lot of my choices are exactly that, mine, not influenced by anyone else and if it all goes wrong, then, that’s your issue, not someone elses to be blamed for. I mean, of course there are extra factors which can affect you and the decisions you make (I mean, I’d love to stay home baking and crafting all day, however, I also like frivolous things like eating and having a roof over my head, so I have to make the decision to work) and obviously, no one WANTS to be told what to do.
I suppose 3 things I try to live by are Be Happy/Positive, Try to make a difference and Listen to people. It’s not always easy and these aren’t going to change the world dramatically but I hope that they make my life better.
I do try to be happy and positive, this isn’t always possible as the black dog can come out when I least expect it, but, I do have things that I do to make myself feel happy, even if its just to treat myself when I want to, don’t punish myself for mistakes I make and if something makes me smile, put it in the Happy Jar.*
I try to make a difference, generally in life. I give donations to charity, I recycle and I try to do things for other people. I know what it’s like to be struggling and if i can in any way make things a bit easier, I am happy to do so. A few years ago I started every so often helping out at a stroke club – a social club for those who have had strokes) and I used that as (sorry to say) a face my fear time. I’m most scared of being needy and having to be a burden on people so if I can avoid that in future, i’d be really grateful.
Listen more, it’ll make life easier. I suppose I would tell anyone to try this for a while, it can be quite eye opening. A good example of this is when I was last seeing a therapist, she recommended actually being honest with people, so, when they asked “how’s things?”, if I felt life was shit, I should be honest about it and say that. It taught me that a) this question is asked a lot but also b) those who truly listened to the answer and HEARD the answer would then try to help, or offer support, or just be there and those are the people I want to be around, which helped me to get back to the person I wanted to be…..honest, open, not afraid to be me and not apologising for the person I was or the feelings I had.
So yes, 3 things I think people should learn, or not, I mean, i’m hardly what you’d say was a role model and maybe that’s something else to want people to take on board. Be you, you might not be an influencer or a role model but if nothing else, be true to the person you are.
What about you dear reader? Do you have family things you are hoping to pass on? I love hearing about other people’s traditions and life lessons so feel free to share.
*If you haven’t heard of a Happy Jar, it’s an empty large jar that every time something makes me smile, I note it down and stick it in the jar. At the end of the year I pull them all out and write a very long blog and have fun remembering all the little things I’d forgotten. This is also good if you have a little time of feeling blue through the year, pull a few smiles out of the jar and re read them….they really do help pick me up.