This is quite an easy one for me, for once, no real soul searching, just an explanation.
A few years ago I was stuck, stuck in a dead end job, stuck feeling trapped in my life, stuck feeling sad, and I was sad, about everything. My boyfriend and I had split up and I felt truly broken. I can’t remember a lot about that time as I couldn’t stop crying, I wasn’t eating and wasn’t sleeping and this led to me making some very dangerous decisions – not looking before walking out into traffic, going out to dangerous places in the middle of the night (I think I was hoping to end it all but didn’t want to have to do it myself). My family were worried and made me go to the doctor. He almost instantly signed me off work for a month and I started taking antidepressants and attending therapy sessions every week.
A lot of the therapy I have had in the past was not ideal, there’s a lot of it which for me, just doesn’t work. I mean, one of the first things she advised me to do would be stand in front of the mirror and tell myself 5 things about me I liked, and honestly, I couldn’t think of one (this was evidenced the other day when the On This Day feature showed me that i’d actually posted on Facebook back in 2012 asking my friends for examples of positive things that I have done – sad, depressing and quite desperate). I never found things like that helpful, but one of the things she gave me, which did hit home was that I needed to do things that made me happy, I spent a lot of time focusing on making other people happy and if I wasn’t working on me, no one else would be. This was when I actually decided to focus more on me. I got my hair cut, started doing what I wanted. I ate what I wanted, when I wanted (lasagne at 3am, yes, i’ve done that – unfortunately had to make it from scratch but it was worth it), watched what I wanted (I discovered Ru Paul’s Drag Race and the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills at this point) and generally focused on what I wanted.
I had previously found that making things – baking and the like was fun and on a rummage through old stuff, I re found my jewellery making stuff. I didn’t start off with a plan but nipped to the library, got a book like “Jewellery making for dummies” and basically started making things as a way to improve. At no point did I think I would sell these little creations but a few lovely people who I worked with sort of leapt on this bandwagon with me and made me think about it more seriously.
I happened to be looking after my parents place whilst they were away and used their computer (at this time, I didn’t even have a laptop) and I decided to share some of the pics of bits and bobs I had taken.
I’ll be honest, i’m not the most talented person but have always felt working hard at something will definitely help, I was happy to try new things and also to show my mistakes to help other people improve! It all seemed a bit rushed, a bit unprofessional and a bit Half Baked. So then it struck me. It was all a bit half baked and I liked the way it sounded (plus, given my choice of specific herbs I enjoy inhaling – Half Baked seemed suitable) I needed to clarify I wasn’t stealing from anyone else and had found some similar names but as this was going to be me producing multiples of things which didn’t exactly fit into the standard mold – a mix of bits and bobs I decided it was all going to be a production.
So, there you have it, a mental breakdown, wanting to die and from such an area of sadness Half Baked Productions came into being.
I’ve spent the last few years just using Half Baked as therapy. I still love making things and find if I need to sort my life out, then it’s crafting that I will turn to. I’m not the next Pandora or Mr Kipling, but I do love what I do and am looking forward to putting more work in when we move – a bigger kitchen is most definitely on my wish list!
That’s it I suppose, what about yourselves, where did the inspiration for your blog come from? I’d love to hear some fun (or even not fun) stories 🙂