This is a tough subject for me, I really don’t want to offend and one of the main pitfalls of any social media usage as far as I’m concerned is that no matter how softly you say something, how peacefully you want something to come across, people will always be offended by something or other.
This is an opinion piece only, a very personal thing and by me expressing my views I am in no way trying to detract from yours.
I’m never sure what I believe. Over my life I have dabbled, lets say, with various different religions, I have a thirst for something, I have always tried to find answers and unfortunately, nothing has really had an affect on me as all I ever see are the flaws.
There’s things I live by and there are things that I believe are universally accepted. Personally, I do not have a connection with God and therefore have had to find myself other things to hold on to. I have faith in people – sometimes i’m completely wrong about that but I continue to do so and I have a lot of faith in myself, for being the person I know I can rely on, to be the strength when I’m not sure I will have it. It may sound odd to read that but I honestly do feel that sometimes I have no faith in myself and i’ll dig deep, knowing i’ve fought battles like this before and won.
I think instead of writing about WHY is choose not to believe in a supreme being (and inevitably causing issues) I would write about things I do believe, lessons in life if you will that help me and I hope make me a good person who, at the end of her life, will be able to look back and say that whilst I was in no way perfect. I was good.
Some basic things I live by:
Be nice – It’s fairly simple. Be nice to each other. What is the point in trying to hurt people, or to push your happiness over that of others. I always try to be nice to people, no matter how much parts of humanity sicken and disgust me, I’m lucky that 99% of the world is good, or at least means it.
Try to be open to love: I honestly do believe that love is the best thing, not always sexual love, but love for friends, life, the sunshine, laughter and happiness. I have lost some really important people to me over the years, and i’ve realised that life is incredibly precious and can be taken at any time. Because of this, I have now started being more vocal about how I feel and how I feel about other people. Life is too short to waste your time with people who do not care about you, but if you do care, tell people that, show people that. Do not hide this. Passing on compliments and love to people will only make things better. You never know too, it might be the one positive they hear all day, and a little lift when you are feeling rock bottom really does bring you back from the edge. Trust me, i’ve been there.
Don’t be horrible about other people’s beliefs: I think this is another simple one. If people choose to believe something and that helps them, then fine. Don’t punish or judge just because you have different views and in the same breath, dont tell me i’m wrong for my thoughts that you might not agree with. I find that not allowing people to have their own views, beliefs etc brings the likelihood of fighting and disagreements and at the end of the day, trying to sway someone is never going to work. Just let bygones be bygones.
Try to make the best of all situations: I’m not a huge fan of fakeness in general but in my last long period of depression this was a piece of advice I definitely took to heart. I’t not easy but sometimes faking it till you make it is amazing, even if you dont feel happy, by faking a smile, it will start to make you happier. I know it’s not always that easy, but by trying to find the positives, sometimes you can affect the way your brain looks at things. I started a list of “good things that happened” and decided to fill it with things that made me smile. Didn’t need to be massively special, just things that gave me a little lift in a really dark time. I would write these things as often as I could and then when I was feeling really sad, i’d read a few, they would make me smile, or laugh or just lighten up a bit. Then at the end of the year, I read through them all and typed it up so I always have the list going forward. In the years now since I’ve started doing this, I’ve felt less of a need to do it but I do enjoy having it there to remember, then if bad days happen (as they do to everyone) you’ve got a way to find your own silver lining.
Be around people who make you happy: Again, another no brainer as far as i’m concerned. I spent a long time trying to be friends with people who didn’t want to be my friend and it took me a long time to realise that people, although I would like to believe are all lovely, will use you for what they need. Be aware of this but do not let these people dictate your life. You need to focus on making yourself happy if you can because at the end, again, do you want to be the main character in your story or a side character in someone else’s? People who make you smile, or inspire you, or just lift your spirits are your tribe. Find who makes you happy and take that as the important factor in life, not are they cool enough, or will they do something for you. Be loving and give out positive energy and you will get that back.
Ok, last one and time to be a bit frivolous about it all…..
Never trust a skinny chef: Ok, I know this is a silly one but I do see that it rings true. I’m not saying that every chef needs to be obese or anything but that a chef should enjoy their own food, they should eat what they expect you to pay for. Food is to be enjoyed and relished and a chef should want to pass that love on.