Post 30 facts about yourself….

facts about myself…..hmm, well apart from the standard ones (i’m 35, I live in the south of England, i’m a bit of a nerd) I’m not sure really. There’s lots of things about me I believe but not sure I can think of 30 interesting facts. Stick with it, we may both learn something…….

  1. I am caring – I tend to worry more about animals than humans, I find myself more upset by seeing the state humanity is leaving the planet as opposed to say watching a nature programme where a turtle is eaten by pumas.
  2. I have been depressed for a lot of my life and feel a better person for it. It’s made me fight to be better and to understand my mind more. I don’t know why but I’ve always felt wrong for being here and that i’m not welcome or needed. This still comes and goes but I think slowly but surely, i’m seeing more positives than I used to.
  3. I tend to wear odd socks – I’ve always thought lifes too short to worry about socks, generally under boots so not really visible to other people.
  4. I wish I had more impetus – I would love to do so many things with my life but for a long time, depression held me back, i didn’t travel like I wanted to as “it’s bound to go wrong” I haven’t gone for jobs/changes in my life as “im bound to fail” and that has rubbed off on me a lot. I do now try to do things to change that but it’s a very slow process.
  5. I read a bit like Johnny 5, I love books and they are still the first way of me coping, it means I can cut out the world and just get lost somewhere else.
  6. I wish I lived closer to more of my friends, I can get quite lonely here and although I have social media accounts, I very much miss actual face to face communications.
  7. I love taking photos, I’m not very good but it gets me out and about and I love showing the beauty of around where I live. I’m really lucky to be so close to the sea and the trappings that offers.
  1. I love food. I can probably watch cooking shows or read recipes like some people watch porn…..I’m making a real effort this year to be less of a fat pig but it’s not easy.
  2. I adopted an Orangutan called Okto this year and to further aid the plight of these wonderful Apes, i’m trying to avoid Palm oil in my food – which it turns out, is in a lot of food so that’s tricky – worth it though as far as i’m concerned.
ornag 2
Orangutans
  1. I still (despite everything) believe in love. I’ve had some really appalling relationships and they have most definitely affected me, however, am lucky to say that the man in my love, is the love of my life. He is sweet, caring, not perfect but perfect for me. I just hope I can make him anywhere near as happy as he makes me.

valentines-rose

  1. I have signed up for a couple of challenges so far this year (2018). I am aiming to walk (at least) 31 miles in January – and i’ve walked about 11.5 (which I have on a pedometer or if you are happy to accept the fact my pedometer broke on Sunday and didn’t record anything i’ve actually done 14.9). So a few still to go but am sure I can achieve it. I’m also signed up for another colour run in July for a child’s hospice. They asked for £50 in sponsorship but i’m aiming for £100 as it’s such a great cause, I will post the link here, in case anyone wants to chuck in some pennies. https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/polly-bartlett-dorset-rainbow-run……………I managed to complete over 50k in Jan (which despite the snow I’m considering a good thing and I also raised about £150 in the colour run – I’m looking at contributing to the newset blog by a virtual racing company I use starting later this year. Lots of plans for 2019 races too!
  1. I am really getting into gaming, both computer and board games. I have been a gamer for years but it tends to be something myself and the man do of an evening together, we will sit together and have a few hands of something or work together on a co-operative game. I heartily recommend (if you are able) heading to a board game cafe, as even if you’ve never played a “modern” boardgame, there’s generally a really good selection and staff who are paid to teach and play!!
  1. I don’t wear make up – unless it’s a really special occasion. My attitude has always been that no amount of slap will help this face so I leave it natural – plus, I don’t have to look at it, you lot do!
  2. I always wanted plastic surgery and as i’ve got older, the list of things i’d want “done” has actually got shorter. The old price tag when i was 17 or so was about £100,000 but I think it would be closer to half that now….I suppose i’ve started to accept that this is how I look and that’s that.
  3.  30 facts about myself is HARD
  4. I’m not sure I have a favourite food but I tend to go through fads of only wanting Pasta, or Curry, or cereal. I’m not sure why but food is such a massive passion of mine and I can quite happily spend hours during the day planning what i’m having for dinner that night.
  5. I love my job – i’m in a job where honestly, a year ago if someone had told me that I would be doing this, i’d have laughed in their faces. I’ve always done fairly menial roles or customer services (read from a script and take abuse) so the fact that this job is specific, has a lot of info, actually makes me feel like i’m making a difference is absolutely brilliant. My boss is also amazing as he actually seems to care and encourage his staff, which in the range of jobs i’ve had, seems a rare commodity.

bus night

  1. I like being around people who make me laugh, now ok, this probably isn’t something specific to me but of all the people I get along with, it’s those that have a fun side of life and fun view that I adore. I’m not fussed if it’s impressions, or old dad jokes or even biting satire, I just love being amused.
  2. I’d love to meet and see Eddie Izzard in action, I think he’s superb and not only for his comedic slightly zany look at the world but also his stance on humanity.
  3. I love being out in the rain. I know it’s odd but dancing in the rain (even with no music) can soothe my soul and if it ever really tips it down here, I am generally seen running for my shoes and heading for a rain rave.
  4. There’s a lot of things i’m scared of (irrational fears) but the things that keep me up at night are fears that I can do nothing about, being alone, not living up to expectations, not achieving anything.
  5. I wish I’d travelled more, in fact, I wish i’d seen the importance of the world as opposed to being in a relationship – which was an awful one as well to be fair! I should have taken out credit, saved like hell and just gone, not worried about making other people happy as over time i’ve learned that by me being happy, those around me are happy too.
  6. If I won the lottery, i’d pack up my life here and start at Gatwick and see where the world takes me. I’d love to take my other half along and maybe a couple of friends along the way. I’m not sure he’d come and if he didn’t want to, i’d have to make the choice of him or the world…..and that would be a really tough one.
  7. I’m trying to be more sociable this year, I know because of the depression, there have been times when I really withdraw from the world and want to make a difference now. My friends are amazing and I want to spend more time with them, not less.
  8. I wish my family could get along. I don’t know why my brother and mum have such issues with staying in contact and just being pleasant to each other – well, I do, they just seem to rub each other the wrong way but that makes it tricky for everyone. I’m not saying they have to be bosom buddies but I am so scared that something will happen out of the blue and i’ll have to call my sibling and say either “get here now before it’s too late” or, even worse, “it’s too late”. I always thought that the passing of a family member would bring the rest of the family closer together but having seen it do the exact opposite to my best friend and the man’s families, I worry for the future of mine.
  9. I keep a happy memory jar. I have already started the one for 2018 but haven’t as of yet sorted through the 2017 offerings. I know 2017 was a good year for me and I’m looking forward to re living it but the lists take time to sort/write and at the moment I just haven’t had the impetus to do it…..which as it’s 17 days into the new year (when I first wrote this)  I really should crack on with……maybe that’s a Sunday job.
  10. I am inside a very politically minded person, however, due to esteem issues I tend to keep my views quiet and dont enter discussions. Twitter has however, allowed me the freedom to be me and if people don’t like it, not my problem – this may also explain why i’m not followed by many people and why I try to not have real friends on there…..some is fine but I think i’d be in way too many arguments if I did the same on other social media.
  11. I’d love to spend more time with my dad in Paris, it’s such a special place for him and every time we go I love it when it’s just the two of us and I get to see the Paris he adores. He wanted to go a couple of year ago to climb Notre Dame again (he fears he’s getting too old) so I am aiming to get out there with him this year to help and hopefully we can conquer that together.
  12. As i’ve got older, my mum has become a better friend to me. I honestly think she tried her best when we were younger but circumstances in life made us not very close or alike, as we’ve got older I think we’ve both mellowed in our own ways and this makes the relationship better. Also, in therapy I was told to blame everything wrong on my parents, and I didn’t agree with that, and that helped me to see them in a better light, that they tried, they are flawed and made mistakes….they weren’t trying to hurt me, in fact they were trying to make life better for me and although it didn’t always work, there are a lot of things that they influenced in my life which have made me the person I am today.
  13. Despite everything, the abuse, the sad times, the depression, the fear, the lack of self esteem, the days/weeks and months at a time I didn’t want to be here, I love my life now – flaws and all – and wouldn’t change too much of it (well, a lottery win would be nice). If I could go back and change things, I would have liked to but now I know that my past has made my present what it is and i’m grateful to still be here and to have not succeeded in any of the attempts I made on taking my life. I would definitely tell a younger version of myself to keep on keeping on, be strong and someday it will be worthwhile. It may not be the easiest life but it is your life to live, to experience and to make the most of.

Well, who’d have thought I could come up with 30 facts…..they weren’t all fab and fun but they are the truth and this challenge has actually made me think more about my self and life than I normally would. Introspection can be a wonderful thing at times!

I’ve noticed recently a lot of new readers, for which I am both stunned and very grateful, feel free to drop me a line, say Hello! or just pass on your thoughts of what I write. I’m always up for meeting new people and experiencing new lives.

 

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