Day 17 – Thoughts on Education

To be honest, i’m not sure how someone can be negative about education……I mean, who actually doesn’t want to be educated and aware of how the world works and why?

I had interesting times at school. I would say overall I enjoyed it, the places, the learning – not necessarily the people and the lack of confidence in myself or the stress I put myself under at the time for something which really, isn’t that big of a deal.

I’d like to share some fun stories from my school times throughout my life, about teachers who have inspired me and things which have shaped my views and behaviours! I have already spoken about let’s say, less than positive points in my learning, not being very confident, being bullied and the like but for this, I’d like to share snippets of stories which have had a positive influence on my life and the person I am. I hope that this shows my thoughts on Education and that also not all education is book learning based.

England – Tower Rd Primary School – Mr Pike – such a great teacher, who I don’t actually think was MY teacher at any point but he was definitely a massive influence and someone who made me question the world, and have a thirst for knowledge of how things worked and their places in the world overall. I’m lucky enough to have now found Mr Pike on social media and despite the fact he and I differ on a lot of views and opinions, I cannot thank him enough for being that first teacher who made me feel open to the world.

There are other great teachers that I had at Tower Rd but I cannot remember them all, there was the teacher who put up with myself a best friend acting out scenes from Monty Python, the art teacher who tried again and again to make me an artist, the piano teacher who couldn’t actually play piano, the teacher who let me take the school rabbit home for the holidays and even the English teacher who helped me with my squint and the stupid glasses/patches I had to wear. These people have all made me the person I began my life as (well, the first 11 years lets say) and that gave me a good base to work from.

I passed my 11+ (for younger readers, ask your parents) and went to the local girls grammar school, this was a strange few years for me as it was stressful at home, a bit disjointed with family life and a very sad time in our home and family. I found myself being bullied by some really awful human beings and thankfully the school librarian Miss Gallagher seemed to understand so she encouraged me, let me go in during the holidays to help out, made me feel comfortable and always willing to give new ideas/suggestions for someone who wanted to read everything. She genuinely got me interested in so many random things, plus was one of the first people I knew who was veggie/vegan leaning and I got a lot of info about things which interested her. I liked that she always treated me like an equal, as opposed to a student.

Mr and Mrs Ross were an epic teaching couple, he taught English and she taught Science (I cannot for the life of me remember which specific one) and in the years I was back in the High school after Spain were year heads. I was certain that they hated me – ok this is a bit dramatic, i’m pretty sure they didn’t hate me but I felt like they tolerated me, the fact I had come back off my own back and not gone through the standard system made me feel very out there and an oddity – but in the end of my time back in the sixth form I found them both to be really lovely supportive and made me Miss smiles in the U6 – how the heck that happened i have no idea!! Even she said when giving me the award that other people had brought up how positive as a person I was……I still to this day think they might have confused me with someone else!!

Moving to Spain when I was 14 was stressful and to begin with, I genuinely cannot remember anything about my teachers that I liked, there were ones who most definitely treated me differently due to the fact I was English. My language was not good enough in that first year and some issues did happen but as i’m trying to be positive I’m just going to focus on the fun teachers.

My favourite teacher, and actually someone who even then I considered more of a friend than a teacher was Vicente, my art teacher for the last year or so of Spanish school. He made us watch films and do creative projects and was always open to just learn about people. He and I shared a very similar music taste which as I was very singular whilst there, really helped me feel less weird. I can remember when a favourite band of both of ours brought out a new album, we knew there would be 1 copy in the music store in Malaga and both had plans to get it before the other. Running through a mall to beat a middle aged man to a quality album is a memory that will stay with me forever.

I’m actually really happy as Vicente and I are still friends, he keeps popping up in my life and I love seeing his gallery shows and the way his life has taken him. Am pleased he still accepts me for me though, he’s still incredibly encouraging – despite my general inability to do anything arty!!

The last teacher I will talk about is one who was a good teacher to me but a great show of how people power can have an effect, probably the first time I’ve ever seen that work in person.

The spanish teaching system is generally based on 1 year contracts, every new teaching student will be sent from school to school to hone their skills and our Music and religion teacher was actually brilliant and when we heard that he had been moved onto his next school we all felt like we would be detrimentally affected by this so the decision was made to have a student strike. We superglued all the doors and main school gates for a few days to no avail so then decided to actually have a sit out, we would refuse to go to classes until he was brought back.

To be honest, this was (and still sort of is) totally odd to me, I fully expected to be out there for say 20 mins before the teachers would just barrel out and order us inside with our tails between our legs……so 4 hours later I was getting cold and more importantly bored. I went home, deciding it would be better to at least do some homework or the like. Cue walking into the house to tell mum why I was home earlier……she totally didn’t believe me so (with my dad – for extra punishment if I was trying it on) frogmarched me down to my school gates to find out what I was on about…….EVERYONE was gone. I’ve never been so nervous in my life, bloody typical, I decided i’d had enough and went home, then the teachers had finally snapped and got everyone inside. I was cacking myself!!

Thankfully upon going inside the school I saw the school secretary who seemed surprised I was there, I explained why I was and her response to my parents at least made them see I was telling the truth. Scary but fun nonetheless.

We never did get that teacher back I don’t think but it certainly made me more likely to revolt in future about things I saw an issue with. Sometimes, lessons like that are invaluable.

I hope over the course of these little stories have given my opinion clearly, I loved learning – I still do – and I honestly feel it’s people like this who gave me this feeling and inspired me to always try more and learn more and see more.

I should also point out that there were a multitude of teachers I haven’t talked about, all good in their own way and therefore should not be ignored. I am immensely proud of my schooling and the person I have turned out to be, and I can only hope they feel the same way!




Day 15 – Write about your favourite childhood books.

I was obsessed with reading as a kid, I mean, pretty much all of my life as a younger person I was safe when I was surrounded by books. My brother and I were really lucky as kids but once he left home, I felt a lot lonelier and retreated more into the safety of books, this was only compounded by being the weirdo, the loner, the one who just generally was not liked by kids – that’s not 100% true, my friends were always and always have been amazing – but there were a lot of bullies who found me an ideal target to harass.

My mum says that even as a kid, she knew reading was a big thing for me because i’d read the back of packets, the papers, even when we went shopping, she knew I would take myself off to the paper/books area and just perch myself down and read. I got through countless books in this style which i’m sure the supermarket was thrilled about!

I had an excellent little book set as a child of the entirety of Beatrix Potter’s tales, all mini hardback with gorgeous artwork and they were kept in a special box, this was something that until very recently I have always had with me. I’ve never even dreamed of having kids so i’ve never really known what to do with them but you know when you have something childish yet wonderful that you can’t imagine being without? I think I gave them back to my mum and asked her to sell it, or at least find a home for them where hopefully they will bring as much joy to someone else as they did to me.

I was obsessed with Enid Blyton as a child, The Tales of the Faraway Tree made me wish for excitement, and new friends, and talking trees – ok, the last of those may have been less possible that the first two – and made me see magic in the oddest of places. She made me look at things differently and I’m sure that seeing creatures, clouds and trees and beginning to apply anthropomorphic characteristics to them comes from her.  Plus another joy of a group of friends who stuck together through everything, through thick and thin was appealing to me, I know I had a small group of friends at that point of my life and we used to do similar escapades when we could – going on bike rides, building forts, just playing and imagining what our lives were going to be.

I included Jennings and Derbyshire in this list as although they were not specifically favourites of mine, they have a very special place in my heart as mum used to read them to me when I was in the bath as a kid. I used to love them and for a long time kind wanted to live in that jolly hockey sticks, ginger beer kind of world. I think maybe my obsession with Mallory Towers and the Twins at St Clair’s also started around this time and made me consider that that kind of life was an option – which at no point was it but I always remained hopeful!!


Reading back the previous list this is all sounding a bit 50s housewife dream kind of style of reading, I swear I read other things too! Like Point Horror – which I’ve no idea are still in existence or if you are younger than me and now asking yourself “what the fudge is a point horror?” but before I started reading lets say, more adult horror stories like Stephen King and Shaun Hutson (if you’ve not read his stuff and like some gore and mental horror then he’s a good person to investigate); I was a bit obsessed with a sort of horror light. It was a series of books which tended to be passed around my group of friends and mostly they were mild frights but for some reason I can remember one book (weirdly my brain has scrubbed over most of the details – including the name) which really terrified me! Well worth it to be scared in the middle of the day with all the lights on….I’m too much of a coward nowadays to read books like that anymore!

We moved to Spain when I was 14 and thankfully I got a lot of books as leaving gifts from people, these became my closest friends when I arrived as I spent so long stressing about not being able to hold even the most basic of conversations without massive pauses and a dictionary so the joy of just being able to open a book and not have to worry was a joy. This is where my love of Pratchett came from. I’d read some beforehand but they really took hold of my imagination at that point. As I said, I really relished having books I could read without having to worry about not being clever enough – which is how I always felt when speaking to people.

I know I’ve banged on about Pratchett in many of my blogs and #PratchettPostal is actually going really well (i’m buying up second hand copies or cheapish bundles from fleabay, advertising them on twitter and then sending them out to fellow fans/new readers. He was such an influence and support to me that I would love to pass that on. If you’ve never read Pratchett you’re missing out but if you are on twitter, come find me at @polmoose83 and maybe come get yourselves a new book – or just come and say hey anyway, I love to have many people around to talk to!

So there we have it, once again, no real specifics but many different options. I would love to be more of a book reviewer in specifics and have read a few good book blogs which have inspired me but currently I’m not sure i’m good enough at specifics and writing my views. We shall see what 2019 has to offer in the way of challenges.

Day 10 – Best Trip Of Your Life

I’ve  been really lucky to be honest and travel has been a big thing for me, I haven’t taken advantage like I should have (travel while you can kids – it becomes harder as you get older) but even since I moved back to the UK, I have enjoyed travel and a variety of wonderful holidays.

I decided to write about a few places as some really stick in my brain but I also don’t want to make it seem like I have had only 1 good trip and the rest have all been mediocre.

  • CUBA

I have travelled a few places (from the list above) and every place I go – even if bad things happen like in Cuba, I feel lucky to have seen the places and experienced the life. I definitely try to relish the positives and kind of work past the negatives.

Cuba was the first place I had travelled alone, I had a real wanderlust when I was younger and when I left school, worked for a while, but Cuba was going to be my jumping off point. Unfortunately, I got mugged halfway through the first week and came home early, before I had seen and experienced what I wanted to – something which I regret to this day!  I did love the joy of seeing the crystal clear waters, and the fun of speaking with Cubans and actually finding out about their lives, which was mind-blowing and if someone had said to me “give me all of your possessions” I would have done – and then at least been able to keep hold of my passport! anyway, it was still a wonderful trip.

Sadly I don’t even think I have any of the photos I took in Cuba. I’ve moved about 10 times since then and somewhere along the way, they got lost but the memories of watching storms fly overhead, snorkelling with a barracuda, gorgeous flowers tumbling down in the main hall of the hotel and the wonderful 4 pools and azure sea. Sometimes memories are good enough.

I went to the Dom Rep years ago with the ex who shall not be named. It was a good holiday but unfortunately he managed to ruin a lot of it – we met some lovely people who he managed to push away with his attitude but still, it was nice to see dolphins, swim and feed fish with bread and to generally meet new people. I am still in touch with a wonderful couple we met and that for me is a real bonus. Again the Caribbean is superb and wonderful and despite the negatives from it, I managed to take away good memories.

Paris is somewhere really special for myself and my family. My dad lived and worked out there and it is most definitely his spiritual home. He loves spending time there and I adore being there with him and exploring and seeing how his world has been shaped by it. I try to spend time there as often as I can, I love eating at the restaurants he worked in and seeing the world he lived among. I do enjoy this and love learning random facts every time we go.

My parents and I went to Istanbul a few years ago for my mums birthday. It was really wonderful to be able to stand on 2 continents as it were and a really wonderful place to spend time (I’m not sure how comfortable I would be now as I have heard it is much less friendly to westerners now but I still enjoyed it and apart from a couple of places, I didn’t feel harassed or uncomfortable. It is a wonderful mix of culture and style, such wonderful places to see, lots of beautiful markets and buildings and despite my general dislike of Churches, I do really like Mosques and had a great time exploring and seeing the places which I had read about.

I was so lucky to go to Egypt years ago with my parents. I’d always dreamed of seeing the Pyramids and I actually never thought it would be possible so when I was given the opportunity I jumped at it. I loved it, it is stunning and wonderful but the level of poverty is scary. I would happily go back but feel that my own personal levels couldn’t handle it. I can remember haggling for an ashtray for a friend, and I realised I was haggling between 40 and 50 pence. Which I’d have been happy to pay full price if you see what I mean. I’m not sure how I could cope. I’d definitely recommend it to people though, just be aware of the looky looky men who are very brazen.

Prague was a great holiday, we went for my dad’s birthday and I have written about it previously (see the link here: share about a recent holiday) but it is certainly somewhere I will be going back to. Full of history, culture, galleries, epic food and drink and a real great place to spend some time. Even those places which weren’t the most glam, were still fun.

Lastly I thought I’d talk about Barcelona. I truly love this place and spending time there, I feel comfortable and free there. Great bars, great buildings, fun places and epic restaurants. I used to travel there alone (very much like my dad with Paris) but am looking forward to showing it off to the man, sharing my life and the places I love with him, which, considering that Parc Guell is where I want to be scattered when I pass away, it would probably be a good thing for him to know where it is for example 😉

So, I’ve finally reached the end of my list. Ok so not specifically “The best trip” of my life but I prefer seeing the positives in a lot of things, at least this was I can appreciate all the trips I take as opposed to trying to make one better than the rest.

I’m hoping to take the man somewhere sunny next year – somewhere cheap and cheerful is always appreciated and we’ve never actually gone somewhere warm so if you have any suggestions, I’m all ears. I’d love somewhere with a bit of history and culture but also somewhere pretty and fun to enjoy nature and relax. Think that would cover all bases!

Day 8 – What’s In Your Bag/Wallet

This is actually quite a timely challenge as i’ve just got my new backpack – i’m not really a handbag girl – but once i’ve listed what is in there, maybe you’ll see why I’m not able to be a handbag girl haha!

Ok, quick edit. My backpack hasn’t arrived yet so have decided to do a list of what’s in the bag and then as above, maybe you’ll see why a handbag is not for me (unless it’s massive anyway!)

I’m currently using a canvas shoulder bag which my work created to celebrate our summer services (locally known as the Breezers) these are open topped buses which travel around the area showing off some of the gorgeous places in Dorset. I like using the bag and also quite like the artwork which is very much like an old school train poster.

So, the standard stuff:

Hand Cream – I love a good smelling hand cream, I try not to use much make up and the like but i’m a sucker for a great smell and a light creamy, silky niceness. I’m currently using one I got for Xmas last year. It’s flavoured with Pink Pepper and Amyris which is actually really nice, not too floral and doesn’t leave my hands all greasy.

Wallet – well obviously, I need this as i’m always needing to go get snacks, or just to be able to pick up shopping once i’ve finished work – tonight for example is our Halloween celebrations – yeah, to be honest, i’m not really “into” Halloween but we’ve decided on getting some pizzas, curling up on the sofa and watching films which will scare us – we are both wussies so can’t imagine it’ll take long to be changing back to something more to our level, like Beetlejuice or something!!


Tissues – I’ll be honest, these generally aren’t for me. I know that the man often has a runny nose or cold like symptoms and I tend to keep a supply for him.

House Keys – another sort of obvious one i’d assume, but I do have a massive bundle including my flat, my parents, some locker keys and generally too many key rings cos, when you collect tat, keyrings will ALWAYS be a good thing.

Books –  this is not always the case but lets say 85 – 90% of the time I will have a random paperback in my bag. Those who know me will know it’d most likely be a Pratchett but at the moment am re-reading a Louis Theroux book about his weird weekends.


Headphones – these were possibly one of my favourite gifts I have ever been given. They are Skull Candy (so very bassey) and wireless so that means I actually can dance around the house without the risk of the wire getting caught on something and then breaking my phone/mp3 player. The man got them for me last year at Xmas, I think i’ve pretty much worn them everyday and I really really really love them!

So yeah, that’s pretty much it. I’m hoping that when my backpack arrives it will be big enough to carry my camera in it, I want a bag that can hold it safely but that isn’t too massive. Ideally i’ve seen a couple of friends with MASSIVE bags which carries their lives so please, keep your fingers crossed for me as I really don’t want to be carrying 2 bags with me so I can use my camera if the opportunity presents itself!

Once it’s arrived will update and let you all know, bet you can’t wait?!



Day 6 – What Are You Afraid Of

I’m almost certain I’ve written about this before, as i’ve previously said, this is a challenge I saw someone else doing and like the ideas, so read on and if you’ve read it before, hows about we just forget that?

Thanks 🙂

I tend to have 2 levels of fear, rational and irrational. Both have some which are REALLY importantly frightening me and others which are just a shock value type of fear.

Phobias are more pronounced than fears. They develop when a person has an exaggerated or unrealistic sense of danger about a situation or object.

If a phobia becomes very severe, a person may organise their life around avoiding the thing that’s causing them anxiety. As well as restricting their day-to-day life, it can also cause a lot of distress.

Most of my fears are considered more rational ones, things that actually could happen and could cause problems, some of them are: the fear of failure, letting people down, not being “good” enough, ending up alone, being unable to afford the basics of food/heat/medical care.

Saying that though, I do have some irrational fears and I will write about those as they’re probably more interesting.

Clowns: Coulrophobia: I probably blame countless books/films/TV shows where evil clowns are abundant and over the years I’ve managed to formulate why I hate them, as opposed to just hating them. I find their makeup scary, as someone who suffers with anxiety and depression, I need to know that the smile on the outside is real, as opposed to being painted on despite what is actually happening underneath if you see what I mean? If someone is sad, that’s as fine as if they were happy but there’s no point hiding.


Moths:  Mottephobia: The fear of butterflies and moths is called lepidopterophobia. Mottephobia, or the fear of moths alone, is closely related to this phobia. Those who suffer generally call themselves mottephobes. Ok, this is a very odd one, it’s not butterflies as well, it’s just moths, the butterflies of the night. I think this has come from being attacked by moths whilst at parties and the like and no matter where I go, they just seem to follow me. It’s weird because I do enjoy butterfly houses and when we last went to the Natural History Museum, they had an exhibit on moths and I managed to finally see a Death’s Head (the one from the Silence of the Lambs) and it was stunningly beautiful. Who knows, maybe i’m maturing in my old age!


Spiders: Arachnophobia: I think this is probably the most feared creature on the planet, I keep trying to organise myself to get over it but no matter how hard I try, they keep coming to scare the crap out of me! I have got some really (now anyway) funny stories from my fear so I suppose that’s a good thing but it still hasn’t helped me mature enough so that i’m no longer scared!

A couple of funny – ish why I hate spider stories…

  1. in an argument with my ex, him having got aggressive and me having got away and literally screaming at him “I don’t need you for anything” walking into the bedroom and finding a huge spider sat right in the middle of my bed, having to climb down in the argument and having to say “I don’t need you for anything, except…….” I’ve never seen someone so smug so quick – and he did get rid of the spider and I managed to eventually get rid of him, so everyone’s a winner in the end 🙂
  2. Alone in my flat, I saw a spider on the living room wall so as usual (I’d rather not kill a spider) I gave him the speech to say he was welcome so longs as he stayed away from me, he could have the walls, I’d have the floors. Next thing I know, he’s moved and is climbing up the sofa to sit next to me. This freaked me out and I got up and went and sat on my pouffe while the spider had the sofa. Decided after an hour of this that I would go to bed (having no idea where the spider has gone as he went behind the blanket I had on the sofa. Turned all off and went to bed. Woke up desperate for a drink about an hour later so went into the kitchen to get one, turned the light on to see the spider less than 3 inches in front of me, just stood there, not running or moving. Joy.

So there you can see why spiders and I do not get along!!


Best Ways I’ve found to Get Rid of Phobias

Getting rid of phobias requires confronting them. You want to get exposure to your phobia llittle by little (small steps), not all at once. Deal with one birthday clown, then working onto more exposure. If you suffer from the fear of flying, first practice imagining the endeavor from takeoff to landing – or you could do what a friend of mine did which was take a flight over to Argentina (a 9+ hour flight) feeling this would be a kind of kill or cure! Next, to take it slowly try looking at pictures or videos of flight. After that, go hang out at the airport – perhaps even board a plane. The goal here is to retrain your brain’s response to flight, to re-condition your fear response.

If anyone has any phobias that they are working through, please let me know, I’m definitely up for making my life better and would rather not be thinking about fear. I’d also love to hear about how you’ve overcome your fear in the past and how you use it to enhance your life now.

A new 30 day challenge

I decided to place all the questions here so that you can join me in the 30 Day Blogging Challenge!

Disclaimer: I got these questions from a fellow blogger – check out her blog, she’s a great writer:

Day 1 – Your Blog’s Name

Day 2 – Your Favorite Quote

Day 3 – Your Biggest Regret

Day 4 – Your Dream Job

Day 5 – Your Proudest Moment

Day 6 – What Are You Afraid Of

Day 7 – Your 5 Favorite Songs

Day 8 – 5 Current Goals

Day 9 – What’s In Your Bag/Wallet

Day 10 – Best Trip Of Your Life

Day 11 – 10 Favorite Foods

Day 12 – Your Favorite Childhood Book

Day 13 – What’s Inside Your Fridge

Day 14 – 3 Healthy Habits

Day 15 – Where Will You Be In 5 Years

Day 16 – Thoughts On Education

Day 17 – Your Favorite Blogs

Day 18 – A Photograph Of Yourself

Day 19 – Your Favorite Movie

Day 20 – What Makes You Happy

Day 21 – What Makes You Sad

Day 22 – Your Worst Habits

Day 23 – If You Won The Lottery…

Day 24 – What Attracts You (In Love)

Day 25 – 20 Things you’d like to do in 2019

Day 26 – Your Hidden Talent

Day 27 – What’s In Your Closet

Day 28 – Most Embarrassing Moment

Day 29 – A Confession

Day 30 – Your Hopes For Your Blog

I loved this idea and thought it would help me write more. They may not be the most special topics but I like the idea of being able to explore more subjects like this.

Post 30 facts about yourself….

facts about myself…..hmm, well apart from the standard ones (i’m 35, I live in the south of England, i’m a bit of a nerd) I’m not sure really. There’s lots of things about me I believe but not sure I can think of 30 interesting facts. Stick with it, we may both learn something…….

  1. I am caring – I tend to worry more about animals than humans, I find myself more upset by seeing the state humanity is leaving the planet as opposed to say watching a nature programme where a turtle is eaten by pumas.
  2. I have been depressed for a lot of my life and feel a better person for it. It’s made me fight to be better and to understand my mind more. I don’t know why but I’ve always felt wrong for being here and that i’m not welcome or needed. This still comes and goes but I think slowly but surely, i’m seeing more positives than I used to.
  3. I tend to wear odd socks – I’ve always thought lifes too short to worry about socks, generally under boots so not really visible to other people.
  4. I wish I had more impetus – I would love to do so many things with my life but for a long time, depression held me back, i didn’t travel like I wanted to as “it’s bound to go wrong” I haven’t gone for jobs/changes in my life as “im bound to fail” and that has rubbed off on me a lot. I do now try to do things to change that but it’s a very slow process.
  5. I read a bit like Johnny 5, I love books and they are still the first way of me coping, it means I can cut out the world and just get lost somewhere else.
  6. I wish I lived closer to more of my friends, I can get quite lonely here and although I have social media accounts, I very much miss actual face to face communications.
  7. I love taking photos, I’m not very good but it gets me out and about and I love showing the beauty of around where I live. I’m really lucky to be so close to the sea and the trappings that offers.
  1. I love food. I can probably watch cooking shows or read recipes like some people watch porn…..I’m making a real effort this year to be less of a fat pig but it’s not easy.
  2. I adopted an Orangutan called Okto this year and to further aid the plight of these wonderful Apes, i’m trying to avoid Palm oil in my food – which it turns out, is in a lot of food so that’s tricky – worth it though as far as i’m concerned.
ornag 2
  1. I still (despite everything) believe in love. I’ve had some really appalling relationships and they have most definitely affected me, however, am lucky to say that the man in my love, is the love of my life. He is sweet, caring, not perfect but perfect for me. I just hope I can make him anywhere near as happy as he makes me.


  1. I have signed up for a couple of challenges so far this year (2018). I am aiming to walk (at least) 31 miles in January – and i’ve walked about 11.5 (which I have on a pedometer or if you are happy to accept the fact my pedometer broke on Sunday and didn’t record anything i’ve actually done 14.9). So a few still to go but am sure I can achieve it. I’m also signed up for another colour run in July for a child’s hospice. They asked for £50 in sponsorship but i’m aiming for £100 as it’s such a great cause, I will post the link here, in case anyone wants to chuck in some pennies.……………I managed to complete over 50k in Jan (which despite the snow I’m considering a good thing and I also raised about £150 in the colour run – I’m looking at contributing to the newset blog by a virtual racing company I use starting later this year. Lots of plans for 2019 races too!
  1. I am really getting into gaming, both computer and board games. I have been a gamer for years but it tends to be something myself and the man do of an evening together, we will sit together and have a few hands of something or work together on a co-operative game. I heartily recommend (if you are able) heading to a board game cafe, as even if you’ve never played a “modern” boardgame, there’s generally a really good selection and staff who are paid to teach and play!!
  1. I don’t wear make up – unless it’s a really special occasion. My attitude has always been that no amount of slap will help this face so I leave it natural – plus, I don’t have to look at it, you lot do!
  2. I always wanted plastic surgery and as i’ve got older, the list of things i’d want “done” has actually got shorter. The old price tag when i was 17 or so was about £100,000 but I think it would be closer to half that now….I suppose i’ve started to accept that this is how I look and that’s that.
  3.  30 facts about myself is HARD
  4. I’m not sure I have a favourite food but I tend to go through fads of only wanting Pasta, or Curry, or cereal. I’m not sure why but food is such a massive passion of mine and I can quite happily spend hours during the day planning what i’m having for dinner that night.
  5. I love my job – i’m in a job where honestly, a year ago if someone had told me that I would be doing this, i’d have laughed in their faces. I’ve always done fairly menial roles or customer services (read from a script and take abuse) so the fact that this job is specific, has a lot of info, actually makes me feel like i’m making a difference is absolutely brilliant. My boss is also amazing as he actually seems to care and encourage his staff, which in the range of jobs i’ve had, seems a rare commodity.

bus night

  1. I like being around people who make me laugh, now ok, this probably isn’t something specific to me but of all the people I get along with, it’s those that have a fun side of life and fun view that I adore. I’m not fussed if it’s impressions, or old dad jokes or even biting satire, I just love being amused.
  2. I’d love to meet and see Eddie Izzard in action, I think he’s superb and not only for his comedic slightly zany look at the world but also his stance on humanity.
  3. I love being out in the rain. I know it’s odd but dancing in the rain (even with no music) can soothe my soul and if it ever really tips it down here, I am generally seen running for my shoes and heading for a rain rave.
  4. There’s a lot of things i’m scared of (irrational fears) but the things that keep me up at night are fears that I can do nothing about, being alone, not living up to expectations, not achieving anything.
  5. I wish I’d travelled more, in fact, I wish i’d seen the importance of the world as opposed to being in a relationship – which was an awful one as well to be fair! I should have taken out credit, saved like hell and just gone, not worried about making other people happy as over time i’ve learned that by me being happy, those around me are happy too.
  6. If I won the lottery, i’d pack up my life here and start at Gatwick and see where the world takes me. I’d love to take my other half along and maybe a couple of friends along the way. I’m not sure he’d come and if he didn’t want to, i’d have to make the choice of him or the world…..and that would be a really tough one.
  7. I’m trying to be more sociable this year, I know because of the depression, there have been times when I really withdraw from the world and want to make a difference now. My friends are amazing and I want to spend more time with them, not less.
  8. I wish my family could get along. I don’t know why my brother and mum have such issues with staying in contact and just being pleasant to each other – well, I do, they just seem to rub each other the wrong way but that makes it tricky for everyone. I’m not saying they have to be bosom buddies but I am so scared that something will happen out of the blue and i’ll have to call my sibling and say either “get here now before it’s too late” or, even worse, “it’s too late”. I always thought that the passing of a family member would bring the rest of the family closer together but having seen it do the exact opposite to my best friend and the man’s families, I worry for the future of mine.
  9. I keep a happy memory jar. I have already started the one for 2018 but haven’t as of yet sorted through the 2017 offerings. I know 2017 was a good year for me and I’m looking forward to re living it but the lists take time to sort/write and at the moment I just haven’t had the impetus to do it…..which as it’s 17 days into the new year (when I first wrote this)  I really should crack on with……maybe that’s a Sunday job.
  10. I am inside a very politically minded person, however, due to esteem issues I tend to keep my views quiet and dont enter discussions. Twitter has however, allowed me the freedom to be me and if people don’t like it, not my problem – this may also explain why i’m not followed by many people and why I try to not have real friends on there…..some is fine but I think i’d be in way too many arguments if I did the same on other social media.
  11. I’d love to spend more time with my dad in Paris, it’s such a special place for him and every time we go I love it when it’s just the two of us and I get to see the Paris he adores. He wanted to go a couple of year ago to climb Notre Dame again (he fears he’s getting too old) so I am aiming to get out there with him this year to help and hopefully we can conquer that together.
  12. As i’ve got older, my mum has become a better friend to me. I honestly think she tried her best when we were younger but circumstances in life made us not very close or alike, as we’ve got older I think we’ve both mellowed in our own ways and this makes the relationship better. Also, in therapy I was told to blame everything wrong on my parents, and I didn’t agree with that, and that helped me to see them in a better light, that they tried, they are flawed and made mistakes….they weren’t trying to hurt me, in fact they were trying to make life better for me and although it didn’t always work, there are a lot of things that they influenced in my life which have made me the person I am today.
  13. Despite everything, the abuse, the sad times, the depression, the fear, the lack of self esteem, the days/weeks and months at a time I didn’t want to be here, I love my life now – flaws and all – and wouldn’t change too much of it (well, a lottery win would be nice). If I could go back and change things, I would have liked to but now I know that my past has made my present what it is and i’m grateful to still be here and to have not succeeded in any of the attempts I made on taking my life. I would definitely tell a younger version of myself to keep on keeping on, be strong and someday it will be worthwhile. It may not be the easiest life but it is your life to live, to experience and to make the most of.

Well, who’d have thought I could come up with 30 facts…..they weren’t all fab and fun but they are the truth and this challenge has actually made me think more about my self and life than I normally would. Introspection can be a wonderful thing at times!

I’ve noticed recently a lot of new readers, for which I am both stunned and very grateful, feel free to drop me a line, say Hello! or just pass on your thoughts of what I write. I’m always up for meeting new people and experiencing new lives.


Write about 5 things that irritate you….

how bestto narrow this down to 5? this will be tricky

the top 5 things that wind me up about humanity in general, please dont be offended if i mention a group you belong to, this is just my opinions and thoughts.

1) PARENTS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> parents who feel that because they are parents they are better than those who choose not to have kids, i mean, ive been having sex for a fair few years now and have never had a kid, that takes more work than actually popping some out. plus, parents who do not control their kids, I was brought up to respect people and if i didnt behave, I was punished, i was smacked and my parents knew that if i was allowed out somewhere then i would behave. I hate parents who simper at their little darlings while they behave like little bastards. Parents believing that their child deserves better than everyone else, at the tax payers expense. Ive paid into the system and it winds me up so much seeing parents pop a couple out and then moan that they aren’t given enough. if you cant afford things, dont get them! also, parents who are wild and impetuous in their days before kids, yet when they have kids somehow transport themselves into holier than thou types, its like ex smokers, theres nothing worse than an ex smoker telling you to quit, its my choice not to have kids so dont tell me im wasting my life by enjoying myself.

2) SELFISHNESS>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>I know that a lot of people can be selfish, hell, even me, but it really winds me up when people are selfish for the wrong reasons, self preservation is one thing, cruelty is another. Everyone has a bit of me me me but ive had the misfortune to meet a lot of people who feel like that when it would really be easier if we all worked together. like politics for example, everyone i know moans about the government, but people i know who dont vote still moan and frankly they have no right to, if you dont use your vote then you have no leg to stand on when moaning about the outcome. theres a lot of problems in the world that would be saved if people cared about themselves a bit less and about others a bit more.

3) IGNORANCE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>again, im not saying everyone but theres a difference between not knowing stuff but being open to learning and being intentionally stupid and being pandered to because of it…..ive seen many girls do this and it makes us all as a sex look more stupid, we’re fighting to be treated like equals and some girls still want to live in the 40’s esque way of battering ones eyelids and waiting for a man to fix it. also, since when have we celebrated as a nation the stupid people, Joey essex is genuinely thick, and we seem to think that this is a good thing, and a good thing to show the world, every year our education system sinks lower and lower on the global scale and we dont see this as a problem? freaks me out to be honest.

4)INTOLERANCE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>funny that this should be on my list of things about people that irritate me, after all, this is my intolerance! I like to consider myself quite care free and laid back, if you want to be gay, straight, bi, have it off with animals, quite honestly, i dont care, if you want to worship one invisible imaginary friend over another, again, thats fine by me, just stop using other peoples fear against them, groups like Britain First make my blood boil and the people who adhere to that kind of rubbish do too, but then people tend to believe whatever they get told on facebook, so if they read that a 97 year old vet has been abused by muslim/islamic/gay/purple people then they will just believe it, as opposed to actually having an open mind that maybe they’re reading and signing up for propaganda and thats it. people need to learn that we’re all ona very small rock and unless we stop trying to fuck each other up then its going to be a very sad lonely and more importantly short time that we’re here.

5)HOLIER THAN THOU >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> i’ve already kind of touched on this above but it needs to be more detailed. I have a problem with ex smokers, wild children who then went on to be parents, people who become vegetarian and people who seem to warp from 1 reality to another and because you dont, you’re considered in the wrong. When i left school (yes many many many moons ago) it wasnt considered normal to have a kid straight away, at least not in my family, it was sort of assumed you’d have a few years of enjoying yourself and growing up before you agree to a life long commitment, however, for the last god knows how many years whenever im asked how many kids i have, when i answer none im asked why not, whats wrong with me, do i just not care, do i not want a council house, do i not want to pass on my stress and neurosis to someone else, do i not want someone to look after me when im old and quite frankly its rather insulting. im making a choice for my life, it has no affect on yours. same with ex smokers and ex meat eaters, im happy for you, youve made that choice, good for you, what really pisses me off is the messages i get from them, god i feel so healthy, i would never allow myself to do that ever again, you people are murderers (thats from the veggies) last year, a mate of mine and i had a steak night evening, then he got into a relationship with a vegan and therefore lost his balls and decided to be veggie to win her over, again, im cool with that, each to their own and that but then to be preached at by him about having a bacon sandwich when hungover it becomes a bit much. its like people stop doing something and then become ashamed of what they used to do. I get that sort of, i mean, im embarrassed by things in my past and id like them to be forgotten but im not then going to tell people who do the same as i have done that they are wrong for doing it. if people choose to do something for them, then great, its totally up to you. ex smokers really grind my gears too, again, great! you no longer smoke, good for you, dont then come into my house and preach at me about the amount of damage im doing myself…….i know and i dont really care. im not uneducated, im well aware that smoking damages you, as does drinking and eating meat, and crossing the road, and fizzy drinks, and eating chocolate. its like those adverts on tv to make people stop smoking, i used to light up in protest because how i choose to live/die is exactly that….my choice. and as for poor smokers, they’re now more social pariahs, paying through the nose and being made to stand outside every pub, so if you dont smoke, you have to walk through a group of them to even get into a pub…….some kind of divine retribution there i think haha!

so yeah, thats the list (for today, it’ll change in 5 mins probably) apologies if you dont like it, but as i say, its my feelings and my opinions only, im not saying im right and everyone else is wrong but just that this is my page to say what the hell i want about anything i choose so if you dont like it, kindly keep the thoughts to yourself haha!

10 things which surprise you about people

this will be tricky, do i do this as “things about humanity” or things about my friends?

1) the way people feel the need to stress…….. like its going to make any difference to the people lives, “i havent slept for a week while working on this project” basically means, you’ve been stressing and making yourself ill for a work project……….NOT WORTH IT

2) the hypocrisy of some people………a lion gets shot (not nice i agree) and people are up in arms, surely the fact that people are starving to death is a bit more important?

3) the futility of terrorism……it never works yet it still happens

4) ex smokers/new veggies/vegans etc…… happy youve made a change in your life, but theres really no need to keep trying to tell me i need to change mine, i like my life and if i need to change it, I will, not because i suddenly get bombarded with people saying “ive done it, so you can too”

5) that even after all this time, people still get judged for what they look like, when will we learn?

6) that no one has invented jet packs yet, tomorrows world promised them to my parents, so where the hells mine?

7) that people bother to be my friend, im not a nice person yet there seems to be some who ignore that and try to find a nice inner me.

8) sometimes, the kindness of strangers makes me cry, people are (in my opinion) mostly bastards, and then someone will come along who is generally nice and that puts my opinions in the dust.

9) that people still expect that their vote counts, i mean, it does and i feel everyone should be made to vote, even if its to ruin their ballot paper, thats fine, but im really shocked at the amount of people who vote and have no real idea what they are doing. ive had so many conversations with people who feel that because their parents voted one way, thats the way to go, or because a party says they’re going to do something that appeals to you doesnt mean you shouldnt investigate what else they’re going to do. actually, my post should be that people dont get taught these things anymore, and very few actually take the time to be interested in their own welfare.

thats it, ive finally reached the pinnacle of this………my biggest thing about humanity is this………..

10) how can people not have curiosity, about life, the world, the way we live, others on this planet, how things work, where things come from how things are made. Im such a nosey bugger but im also naturally curious. i dont understand people who are stupid and happy about this fact. those who revel in ignorance really arent my type at all. my brain is always working and fizzing, i like taking on new challenges and learning is always close by, even if im watching tv quizzes i like to think im improving my brain. so yeah, that astounds me, that people dont always have as pulp said “a thirst for knowledge”.